The Little Things

Singing happy birthday at midnight. stroking the side of my face. singing together. people watching.  dancing on top of the bed. those walks. those hugs. playing with my fingers.  waking up in the middle of the night to find myself stuck under your legs.  Making sure the temperature's just right for you because you're always colder than i am.  wiping tears away from my face before i had to say goodbye when i moved.  the kisses on my forehead, shoulder, my neck, all because they're there. the kisses i plant on your shoulders, the ones i give to your neck when i'm on my tippy toes.  playing with your hands.  The mirror we make of ourselves.  always asking how i've slept.  Thinking of me and what i may need or want and then making the call to make sure i need those things whenever you're away and coming to be with me.  letting me be the spunky independent girl i try to be but still holding my waist whenever we cross streets.  never walking ahead of me when we're out and biting your lip when i sometimes walk ahead of you.  asking for my help.  the emails. the communication we have.  the way you asked- "when can we make it official/is it our time now?"

sidenote- i'm beginning to forget your face.  i'm beginning to forget us.  The timing of this breakup was better.  this was clean. thank you for deciding to let go.

She asked- how did you stay so long, knowing he had "that problem?" 3 years, what? "how did you fall in love and love, knowing he had "that problem?"

And... back

The look in your eye whenever we have a  moment to be in quiet. your patience. our getaway plans.  sharing enthusiasm for vintage cars.  your bravery. showing up hell or high water because it had been SO long since we'd seen each other.  the pains i felt that night, because... we had to behave as strangers. the freedom that is now had.