all while the universe kept givin good stuff.

(there's a margarita in there...)
For.The.Swindle.
Happy belated cinco de mayo!

CWHA Part 3 aka Fuck the Break Up... we Talkin Break In

Thursday... Today.
Arrive home...
just a day...
great day...
good meetings. missions accomplished, prepared for tomorrow...
and the sun still beams.
i walk up the flights of stairs to my home... open my door...
i mean... attempt to open my door
i start at the bottom lock.
success.
work on the top
challlllaaaaange
i retrace my unlockin method
fail
i look closer... see a gap between the lock and the... pocket?
so i pull the door closer to align and try again.
i cant pull it any closer... so i struggle turning the knob
fail.
i look around...
notice the paint is chipped.
fail to notice the paint is chipped due t the frame being pushed away from the wall it rests upon.
step back
look behind my back to the opposite side of the frame...
notice... the door looks lop sided.
step back
look more to my right
the drywall is cracked away from the door... i can see the bricks.
i panic.
my baby!
My SAMPS!
i run to the back to get to my back door.
panic.
if i see a bloody dog laid out on my floor i can't take it.
My door is fine. locked as it was from the morning.
across the porch the other door is cracked from my old tenant's home.
i dot really register that.
run in... look for samps... calling his name hoping to hear his scamper.
he's in his crate... shaking.
he's alive. he's here. he's scared.
i'm scared.
i pick him up. hold him. stare at my door.
holding him we walk through the house.
nothing's taken.
(he) didn't make it in.
thank you.
thank you.
i make calls.
can i mention T-mobile not tryna let my life be great?
or even safe for that matter as of late?
I make calls
my landlord.
something clicks...
she mentioned no one's been in the vacant apartment...
there aren't even plans to begin its rehab yet.
that door was cracked.
thank you for CSI balls...
i kicked the door open...
look down and there's the crobar.
look at the door...
there's marks of forced entry(yaye CSI jargon)
i walk through... empty as ever. the door is unlocked.
again i know not to touch anything...
i walk back out from whence i came...
call my landlord...
comes the police...
they trace the steps of what's been seen
we notice there are no marks of any kind on my door...
only the ring around my peep hole is on the floor. I learned that...
they clip that off to see better in apartments...
they attack upper floors before lower floors... because no one thinks to look up.
this person jumped a fence or was welcomed in another way to approach the rear of my building...
attack this unit.
started in the vacant and see it's vacant attempts to come for mine... but the door was reinforced...
or something stopped him...
he may have even taken the stairs towards the front entrance
to appear unsuspicious.
was it the mail carrier's arrival? another tenant/samps barking or whining? that made him stop?
the damage that was done... he could've completed the job and had a field day.
I learned.
i need apartment insurance. now.
Chicago, you're making me lose faith in you.
The devil... or something's after all weak.
Something's after those that are moving alert and resilient on their paths...
something is trying to get near me.
I wont be knocked off.

Tomorrow
doors frames and drywall, doors, locks and keys will be replaced.
Cameras will be brought in.
Do i feel any safer to stay here once my lease ends in June?
I don't know.

CWHA Part 2

Wednesday...
6:30...
I take the 47... preparing to meet with another friend downtown.
Normalcy in this situation... bus was moderately filled.
teenagers on corner across from the drunkards of the -likkastow-
typical day on the corner of 4th and cottage
teenage girls board and talk LOUDLY
just a day just an ordinary day...
bus prepares to pull off and shuts down...
i assume its the doings of the actual driver...
its the teens they have removed the gas tank cap and that auto-stops the bus
we're stuck.
the teenage girls curse and open the back doors yelling shit to the boys abt bein disrespectful...
they call her a hoe...
she runs off gets in their faces...
runs back... talks more smack..
we. wait.
we. suffer.
for the dumb shit.
police are in pursuit and chasing down the children.
-end scene-

Can We Have Anything? Part1

Monday...
I take the 6 to visit a friend, not even 6 blocks from point A of my "trip"
It's 7:30
on a 6... did i say that?
on one of those long body buses...
at 7:30... yea i mentioned that... anyway
I hop on... 11 ppl on the bus scattered about. I scan faces. take my space.
at 55th.
approach and stop at 56th. doors open *people exit i assume*
PPL YELL stop! hold the bus hold the bus don't pull off call the police stop he's being hurt!
I look back... ppl are hanging in the door. i think someone's stuck
I fumble with my difficult ass smart phone... touch screen and cant find the damn "phone' calling widget fast enough.
oh wait... why was i calling?
I looked over out the window. the white man on my bus was being attacked in a chokehold by a young black boy.
his friend watched them and was preparing to jump in to do whatever his adrenaline told him to.
Following- The man flips the boy down and next second... zip cord "tamed" the beast.
This white man... was a state's attorney.
The boy's boy... dipped.
Muthafuckas betta stop playin. There's jump out boys on the buses and trains now.

That's Racist!!!

(haha i love wondershowzen)

So... met a new boy last week. He was charming, funny, handsome, smart, clever and quick on his feet. Flirted well with me so duh, he got the number. We talked for hours about all kinds of things- where we've been etc etc etc. I started each day, hella curious about him... asking all kinds of questions from what he ate that day to where he thinks he gets his looks from mom vs. dad. I never ran out of and still have an overflow of questions. I'd rarely been this curious and this openly curious about anyone. I do the zodiac thing and he. was. *my* Gemini. I was ready... wait. not THAT "ready." but the ready to continue entertaining this dude.

So... he's Iranian.

Drop your mouths or pick em that lip... whatever it is you're doing KEEP Reading this is a CRAZY loaded blog :)

I didn't think twice at all about him or the fact that I was flirting with him until we had our first outing. We went out for coffee...ion't drink coffee so smoothies and a walk through Millennium Park.

We, well I went around classifying birds and butterflies while together we made up names for flowers we didn't know. We took random pictures and made stories about the Japanese sculptures in the park. I was uncharacteristically open about myself. I went ahead and was as weird as I really am. Felt completely comfortable. Confident and all that.

So... I hadn't been able to be myself like that with someone I've dated in awhile. ha... not even the man i was prepared to marry only last year. Anyway, specifically the black ppl I've dated. For fear of not being "black enough" because I was into so many things that weren't "black enough." I was mocked and criticized in my youth for my voice and vernacular, sounding "white" all because I spoke properly. Apologizing finding DUMB rebuttals, all because I spoke "right." As I got older, they assumed my speech had been adopted from me attending a predominantly white high school... yea that explains it.

and I'm at mandylove's house and she's suggesting that I make a part 2... so... yea, part 2 to come! *vlog in the works*