Nearing the End...
Entertained C/oB, N/T, and R/J
CoB just... just no.
N/T... possible but another youth... and distance... we leave that all alone, the banter though i tell ya, FUN shit.
R/J love the man... he was before C/T we were just not ready to be that grown up. With what i feel right now... i think those ideas may go in hibernation yet again...
always ready for me... me not for them... ready for the next... or ready for *this* i hope I'm ready for this...
C/T a relationship that could've led to what my future could've been right now. major adult stuff. lol family and life planning... shared accounts and policies. Instead we woke up and said we are not gettin any younger so we might as well NOT do it. He's in Love... i hope he's admitting it and telling her daily. he and i throw efforts at friendship between us... i hope we get there. Cuz romantic love had gone well before our ending but platonic love came right in comfortably for me. I think at times i still want privileges of our past... knowing what's happening with family and such... accomplishments of work... experiences or cool shit he's experienced in his new home... stuff about his dog... etc. I was hurt to find out through word of mouth about the official start of that relationship. his sister's nuptials... i didn't even have the chance to say congrats. wishing his family happy birthdays and the like... but that would make me seem like i still wanted to be with him or something right? so i guess its good he's made those cutoffs, lol Next
A/F one from the block... I've fought and fight with feelings for him... from him introducing Anthony Hamilton to me... and finding him in his car, mid day... summer time... completing a crossword puzzle. both of the sexiest things I've seen him do. things that i smack myself and say be cool tivi a la Andre 3 stacks. MMMMph if i could just... nope. stoppin myself again. he's good. I'm good.
J/D i like him... he knows I'm no good for any of him though. that's excellent :)
whew... that's that.
Besides... in all acts of honesty... she wins. I want her to and I will let her. :)
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