Like a Novella of sorts...
So... the other day. I started a small short quiet blurb about wanting someone that moves me. discussing roles, character traits of who that one could be. Today I pose the question
WHERE ARE THE MEN LIKE OUR FATHERS????
I'm sorry(although unapologetically so) that I was blessed to grow up in a 2 parent home. My folks worked, I was middle class perhaps teethskin right below or whatever to some standards. We had opportunities to travel, discover "nice" things... but my father... he was also about pullin his boot straps up.
He emancipated himself at 16, left the country life of Kentucky, joined the Navy fought in 'Nam, became a line cook and teacher shortly after. Met a woman, set his sights on her, declared he was gonna marry her and achieved his goal. Then came me.
My dad was awesome. He taught me how to finish a basement, do simple car and plumbing repairs. Took me on trips, hugged me, chopped it up with me in his El Camino about life when i was only 7. Taught me how to whistle on long walks to my preschool when i was 4. Introduced me to the art of Picasso and paraded me all around downtown so much that i knew nothing of the projects. Thinking that downtown was the only thing that made Chicago beautiful. He built me a swing set and sandbox. He taught me gardening and planted roses in the garden cuz he saw how mesmerized i was with them on a "nursery trip" My dad read poetry, laughed heartily, spoke to everyone on my block in lengthy conversations as i rode my big wheel around him and his friends in circles.
I fought goooood with my nephew once. We broke even since he lost a tooth and i got stitches. Came to the emergency room, and the doctor had to numb my forehead... all i screamed was daddy. He swooped in, took my hand, squeezed it and told me to just look at him.
My dad would wake me in the middle of the night, because he was preparing one of our holiday dinners and wanted me to be his taste tester... it's how i learned to cook- sleep walking and talking with my dad. crumbling cornbread and making toast for dressing. Sitting in his boat and fishing with him. watching from our back porch as he sat under our willow tree scaling it for the fish fry that summer (i was allergic)
He taught me how to "Step" adore vinyl and introduced Coltrane and Miles to my 3rd grade studies. Put me in arts classes and summer school every year. Bought me a Mac when they first started receiving the hate. Indulged me in the festivities of ChinaTown during their new year celebrations... so close that i touched the dragons and ate rice candy til i curled over in tummy pain. and was right there with jasmine tea to ease the ails.
My daddy taught me principles, values... humor and that there are no limits to who i was gonna be. He taught me about no's as well as no's that are not to be accepted just because of my external appearance. He made me love books and debates. He pushed me through my education. He let me know when i was goin on the deep end.
My daddy spoiled me. Made birthdays HUGE to-do's. Took his "ladies" traveling and stayed in nice places. Stole time from work so we could spend our christmas at the sheraton shopping on the mag mile and letting me get away with murder on his bank account in FAO. Hear him tickin away in the basement putting together my toys... he was a great santa. his presentation skills were NOICE... thoughtful indeed.. perhaps why presentation is so important to me... and the roots of LaDonna Reed even. He covered each milestone with importance...
I never wanted to disappoint him and what he wanted for me.
WHERE ARE THE MEN LIKE OUR FATHERS???
The men that make me actually care about the possibility of having said disappointment. the ones that make me thinking completely through everything and its consequences. have me create foresight. The men that make me wanna do little, average, magnanimous acts of appreciation adoration and celebration in honor of their character and accomplishments? Men that make me wanna put in work in EVERY arena of my life and not just the bedroom and the kitchen. Ones that respectively challenge me and make me continuously step my game up just to stay in step with him. Where are the ones that help my values mature...
I miss those days... I miss those men. I want one of those when i decide to reach motherhood...
I can't be one sided... I'm sure some men question WHERE ARE THE WOMEN WHO DESERVE GREATNESS? ya'll already have plenty women tryna be/replace/emulate ya momma's while still resting on their knees...
Part 3 to come...
This was great! I loved reading about your Daddy. I'm glad you're writing more often Tivi. Love, MaiTai
ReplyDeleteYes I do agree this is great!! Grandad as I called him lol was a strong and loving man. He was one of the main ones who taught me what a man was supposed to be about. He hated lasyness and always told me to never be that way. Anytime he had me do work for him there was a lifes lesson to be learned. He showed me that I had to work for my money and dont expect anybody to give you a damn thing (his words)!! He looked out for me more than he had to and I think he sensed that I really didn't have many "men" in my corner. I know you remember the post office picnics where we had to get up at 5 in the morning to go cook (DAMN he had the best lasagna!)It was an every year thing and I loved it (except for the 5 in the morning lol). I miss those days and your right there arent't a lot of men out here like this! But I can say he helped mold me into one! I will never forget when he told me that I was going to be a surviver and that he was proud of me and it was good to know me! I felt I had his respect and it meant alot to me when he said this. He was a man of respect and to hear words come out the way it did from him really meant alot. Now that im older I understand more of what he was accomplishing for his family and the younger ones. He is missed very deeply. I just wish I could've told him I love you more and thank you for all that he has taught me because the virtues he taught me are definitely in me today. Good blog and Love you auntie!!!! ♥Marshon♥
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